A Down Day

On Friday, the 20th of May, I was heading to work. As I was two stoplights away from work I received a phone call from my husband. It wasn't alarming at first because we love each other and are in communication with each other all day long usually, and so I thought he just wanted to tell me something to pick up on my way home from work. But I was wrong.
Jon had received a phone call right after I left the house from his dad. His dad was diagnosed with prostate Cancer almost 2 years ago. When the doctors caught it, they noticed a spot on his tailbone. After further tests they discovered that the cancer had spread to his tailbone as well. There were a couple different treatment options, but the one they went with didn't involve surgery or chemo. My in-laws, with guidance from the doctors, choose to try out a new drug. They didn't want to remove his prostate because then they wouldn't know if the treatment was working. For two years we all thought it was working pretty well. His testosterone levels went back to normal and his only side affect from the medicine was hot flashes. Steve looked healthy and we all felt very optimistic. But Friday came, a day that is a hard day to grasp hold of and really let it sink in of what it all means.

Steve & Kris with their granddaughter, my niece, Gracie Mae

Steve told Jon that his cancer had spread. That it was now in his liver. On top of that, his kidney's are failing. It is hard news to get when you are in the car and your husband is crying and needs you, but you are at work. It shook our world! We knew that cancer would probably be what he passed away from, eventually. The doctor's had originally told us 10-15 years. But now, all we know is 6 months of chemo and a very sick father(in-law).
I know I am selfish. Steve is going to be in heaven and in no more pain one day, but all i think about is my future kids not getting to meet their grandpa, of Steve only knowing Gracie. Never seeing Mark get married. I want Steve here for all of that! Even when I know he would be in a way better place.
Friday night we went to the cheep theater. I felt that we just needed a date after the news. We saw the Adjustment Bureau. A fun, entertaining movie. One line hit me though. The movie sort of played out like it was talking about God and then there were angels on earth type of thing. So one of the "angels" was talking to another one and he said something to the extent of, We can't see the big picture, we see the little bit of now, but the Chairmen sees the whole picture.
At that line I realized that it is very true. We only see now, but we can't see the big picture the way that God can. God has already been in every moment of our lives. He knows how it turns out and he is there for us. It Brought some comfort.
At the same time though I am frustrated. I have seen God's healing hand. I have seen how he touches people's lives who are sick and makes them better. Such examples from recently are Savanah, Laura, and baby Elijah. I know God heals, so why when we pray for healing for Steve, doesn't God heal? I know I won't know the answer until I see God face to face, but I am frustrated, and I know God loves Steve and Loves me and all the rest of the family that is in this with Steve. And I know God knows the whole picture, where I only know this part of it. But I want my father-in-law to be healed. To be made whole again and to have all sickness released from his body.

Randall Family: Mark, Kris, Steve, Me, Jon, Katie, Mike & Gracie

Please pray for the Randall family. We really need it. For strength and courage to face the next days to come, and to remember who we serve and His plan for our lives is bigger and better than our own. Thank you!!