Crazy Much!?

It's almost to crazy to even talk about. How is all this happening? I shouldn't be complaining because it is all good, but so very crazy!

I was going through our loan papers last night trying to figure out a lump sum of what is due each month for them. Stressful work, but something that needed to be done so we can start working on paying some of them. I was checking out two of my huge loans to see what the monthly payment would be for those, and that's when it got super CRAZY! God totally took care of them. I don't know how he didn't and I am not going to even try to figure it out, but when I logged on to the site, I saw all these zero's. I was thinking, that can't be right, can it? Which it can't... But it was! I clicked on the details of the accounts and both of them said PAID IN FULL!! I felt and still feel very confused. I don't understand or know how it happened, seeing is they are so weird about talking and dealing with you in person. All I can say is God heard my desperate cry. Those two loans equalled roughly 30 grand! Major stress relieved. I am thanking God tremendously right now. And it happened at such an awesome time. A time when I was feeling down and stuck and not sure what we were going to do.

Then today I opened what I assumed to be a letter to Jon telling him again about the money he had in a retirement fund that he had set up when he was working for Old Navy. We knew how much was in there, but Jon had called to see about taking it out so we could have that money and the person he talked to said we really wouldn't get much of that money back, so we decided to leave it in there. It wasn't hurting anything. I opened it, realized it was a check, and for pretty much the whole amount that was in there! God is so good. He has blessed us twice in a day, and blessed us with so much more too. I don't know how all this is happening other than it is GOD. I have been praying and crying out because we have been struggling, and I have felt that God has been silent, but I am waking up and realizing that He is not silent. He needed me to get to a point where I had nothing left and had to fully lean on Him for support and for Him to take care of me.

I get in this rut of having/trying to do everything on my own, even when I say I am trusting God to handle it. I usually just say it and don't fully mean it. But the past two weeks I have been at my breaking point. A point of "give up". A point where I didn't care where we lived or what we were doing, just as long as we were living some where that paid us, so we could take care of our debt. That is the place God was getting me to, because I have been trying so hard to control where we are going to go after this internship. I wanted to be by family, no matter what. I needed to be closer to them, and not that I don't still want that, But I have realized that I need to fully trust God and allow Him to move Me where He is calling Us.

Crazy surprises, but awesome ones. They show me how much my God loves me and cares for me. And that He does hear me when I cry out in desperation, even when I think He doesn't. GOD YOU ARE AWESOME! I love you! Thank You!