MLFB

MLFB, which stands for Major League Fantasy Baseball... The league that my husband is a part of. There are times where I hate that he is so attached to this fantasy world, and that he spends more time with it somedays than me, but then there are other times where I don't mind it so much, Like this past weekend.

This past weekend was the fantasy baseball draft. Jon and his buddies have made it a tradition to get as many of the 20 people who are in the league together on this day as possible. To say the least, we drove to Minnesota for this splendid event! :)

Last year I was a little bored, but this year, as you can see from the above photo, I had company. Our friends, the Burkhart''s had a baby girl in February, and since they are both part of the league I had the privilege of babysitting :). This beautiful little snuggle bug slept on my the whole 2 hours of the draft. It was so sweet!

To say the least, it was a great weekend with friends. The only time I like fantasy baseball ;). It was a much needed weekend with friends, but it is always a bummer when you have to leave them, especially this time because Jon and I may move further away from them all and this may have been the last time to see everyone for a while. But I have learned to cherish these moments and to remember how much fun these times are and to not feel sad, because that never helps anyways :)

For as much as i gripe about MLFB, I am thankful for the friends that we have and the tool it is to keep us all connected! :)

Sometimes I just want to be 10 again

Why as kids, do we always want to grow up so fast? Now that I am "grown up" I really don't want to be one. I really wish I could go back to being 10 again.

Life has not gone exactly the way I had pictured it would go for me, but I believe that is a good thing because that means I am not in control, but God is, and that is the way I want it to be. God has been teaching me plenty lately, and a lot of it I don't want to be taught :) but obviously I need to be taught it. Such as money and how we handle it, to my relationship with my mom, past grudges and holding on to things way too long, to how I cope with change in my life. So here it goes, this may be a long note.

Money: So God has been trying to get my attention for a long time here, but it has finally hit home. Jon and I haven't been the wisest with our money since we have gotten married. Not that we have spent super foolishly, but more we haven't paid things well. God has shown me that I haven't fully trusted Him in this area and I have kept tight reigns here and need to give it over fully to Him. That is going to be hard, but pray for me as I pray for God to help me give this up to Him.

My mom: I love my mom to death! I am her mini me. But growing up we weren't super close and I think I understand some aspects as to why we weren't. 1) She was sick with clinical depression when she had me and struggled with sleep issues so my dad got up a lot in the night to take care of me and I believe that could be a reason as to why our relationship struggled as I was growing up. 2) I am exactly like her. We both love to read, to be some where comfortable, we hate change, and cry a lot when we miss our family. I am my mother's daughter. After reading this two book saga from Francine Rivers (Marta's legacy) I have realized that I don't know all of my mom's story and want to know it and want to know more about her sickness when I was born. We are super close now, but I feel like I need to know more about her past to truly understand her better. So I am hoping that when we are together at Easter we will have time to talk about her life :).

Grudges: I tend to hold things in, and let it swell into bitterness and still not deal with it. I believe that is another area where God is teaching me. Today I met with a girl in my small group and I realized that I had been holding onto this grudge towards a previous small group leader since 9th grade!! Holy buckets was it eye opening in the moment. I came home and felt very strongly that I need to write this leader a message and ask for forgiveness. I still deal with bitterness towards what happened in MN, and I don't know why because I know I have forgiven those people and everything, but I get so nervous and skeptical of small church's. It is very unhealthy. Pray that God helps me to relinquish that to Him fully. I don't want to become this bitter old lady one day.

Change: So we are coming to an end of our internship. Part of me is really ready to start a new chapter and to see what God wants to teach us in this next step of life, and part of me hates that fact that God is going to make me start all over again. I was talking to my friend Thursday night, she is also a pastor's kid, and we both agreed that we have this unhealthy need for change that comes around every 2-5 years because that is the cycle of moving we had as PK's. We both realized that even though we long for stability and comfort, we have this unhealthy fear of being in one place too long and need the change of scenery.  I also have noticed a pattern in my life that when I know change is coming, I shut people out early so I don't feel the pain of loss so strongly when the time for change comes. I wanted to do things differently in the end of this internship, but old habit's die hard. Please pray that I can finish strong here and not shut people out like I am so used to doing.

To say that least, I am growing up. I love that I am married and can spend the rest of my life with my best friend, but there are days that if I was given the opportunity to go back and be ten forever I would do it in a heart beat. Life isn't easy. I am learning that first hand. But with God's help and guidance I know I will survive this life and Live for eternity with Him in Heaven!

Some times you have to Let Go

Life is one crazy adventure. About a year ago Jon and I got wind of a church plant in Jacksonville FL. Ever since then we have been praying hard about that decision and visited to see if we fit and if it was where God was calling us, praying about being able to be supported if we went there, and for God to just make clear where He is calling us.

Well everything looked and felt like it was very positive, but there was one big negative that kept us very hesitant. Money. The church plant didn't have any to support us and they weren't sure if the District would have any money to support us. So a waiting game began. We continued praying about it, but our prayers slowly changed to a prayer that sounded like this, "God, I pray that you would give us direction as to where you are leading us in our next adventure." FL some how started to slip out of the prayer and I never even realized it. It is a good thing too! I didn't want to be praying for FL and trying to force that decision and make that happen. I really want to go next to the place that God is calling us to go. To say the least, this waiting game has been stressful and very long and I have just been ready to know one way or the other.

February came. The month that the budget proposal was presented to the board. Tuesday, 2/22/11, was the day that it was presented. We waited patiently, trusting that we would finally get some answers and we would be able to decide what to do next. The next day we get a call and email about what happened at the proposal meeting. The Board didn't approve it. They haven't been approving any budget revisals. I can't say that we were really shocked there. A little disappointed, but not really shocked.

Jon and I talked about it and I got his view on the whole situation and I shared how I felt, and we came to the conclusion that God didn't have FL as our next adventure and that we needed to let FL go. So we let this whole situation go. We knew we needed to start pursuing our options and continue to seek God's direction.

Thursday, 2/24/11, Jon met with the Mid-America District Superintendant (that is Nebraska, Iowa, Colorado and maybe a couple other states) to see if there were any pastoral positions available in this district. I really didn't know what to expect from this meeting, but thought it was a great next step in pursuing our options.

The DS told Jon that he just got a call the day before (2/23/11, the day we let go of FL) that there is going to be a position open in a church in Grand Junction, CO. They talked about the position and how Jon would be a really good fit and that he wants to pass Jon's resume on to this church. It was a very exciting meeting.

Jon and I don't know where this will lead or if it is just another learning opportunity, but we are super excited to see where it will go. This would be awesome because we would only be 5 hours away from my family now, instead of 9! We would be able to see them a little more. We feel that it is just a God thing. So keep us in your prayers as we continue to seek God for our future!

Work

Work. Work is one of those things that you can either love so much that you become a work-aholic, or that you hate so much that you complain about having to go to work every day. You would quit your job if you could afford too, but the reality is you can't because you have bills to pay.

I would say that I am neither. I don't love to work, but I get extremely bored when I am out of work. I enjoying having a job, obviously for the money, but also just to give me something to do with my day. When I don't work, like on the weekends I love it! I love being in my own home and with my things and just to relax and hang out with my husband.

Today I realized that I am very blessed with my job. I love my job! It is perfect for me. That is hard to say sometimes, but with this job I actually don't mind getting up in the morning to get to work. There have been jobs where I have gotten up or where I have gotten out of class and the last thing I wanted to do was go to that job. But that isn't the case with this one. I can get up in the morning and be excited for my job. I can come back from vacation and I actually feel ready to go back to work. Shocker I know, but it is true!

God has truly blessed me with my job. I am a nanny, and sometimes finding a family that matches my personality can be hard, and doesn't always happen, but God has given me that with the Milligan's.

One of my prayer's every morning when Jon and I do our devotions is that God would use me to be a blessing in this families life. That I would remember that I do my work to glorify God and not for myself. I believe God has heard that prayer and has actually turned it around to bless me instead.

When our time in Omaha is up, I am going to have a really hard time leaving them. They have been so good to me and I am so grateful and thankful for them. I probably won't find another family like them to work for or possibly not even nanny any more after this job. It is bitter sweet thinking that we only have about 4 more months here and that means I only have that much more time with the Milligan's.

God showed me today as I was leaving work just how much I truly have to be thankful about. He has blessed me with a great godly man to be my husband, He provides for us daily with different blessing, He has allowed our beater cars to continue to run and not die so we have transportation, He provides enough money to have food on the table and a roof over our heads, and He has provided us with amazing jobs.

Our God is so Good! I love when I awaken to how much he loves me and provides for me. Makes for a great day :D

FrIeNdS!

Friends: Everybody has them, some that they wish they didn't have, but still they are in the friend circle.

I love all of my friends, my friends from Iowa, Minnesota, and now Nebraska. The down side, they are all in different states and I don't get to see them that often. Another point, a lot of my friends are getting married or are married now and we are moving around the country and world! I have friends in Georgia, Wisconsin, California, the three states mentioned above, Florida, Colorado and Taiwan. Life is crazy! I will say because of our spreading out, I am truly thankful for the internet and such inventions as facebook and skype. These inventions have allowed people to stay more connected today than back in the day when everything was by snail mail and telegrams.

I was very thankful for this last weekend (1/14-1/16) that Jon and I had. We were able to spend it with some friends from Crown. We realized that we should take advantage of not living so far away from them all while we can because in less than 5 months we will be moving from Omaha to somewhere. We were very blessed by our friends Ryan and Nadine and their gift of driving and covering the gas and some snacks. While we were in MN I realized how much I have missed all of these people and that it sucks to grow up, but that it is awesome how even though we are all married, living in different states, we can get together and pick up right where we left off. It was very encouraging to me.

Tonight is our kick off for the 8:08 small groups. It is a bitter sweet feeling for me because I love these nights where we all get to meet and laugh and learn about God, but then there is this thought in my head, that has been coming a lot lately, that this is our LAST kick off of small groups. That this is our last semester! It is crazy and scary and exciting! But I have grown to love all the people in my small group and most of them are the people we hang out with on the weekends, so I am truly going to miss all of them a ton! They have all talked about vacationing to Jacksonville if we end up moving there, and I love it!

Friends are the best. They become your family when you don't have any family that lives close and they stay family long after you move away from them. I am very thankful for all the people that God has brought into my life and blessed me with since I was little, and it is scary, but I am excited to figure out who my new friends will be in our next adventure.

Well time to go wake the hubby up and do our morning devo's!
Late's

Husbands

There was once a day that I wondered what my husband would look like, how we would interact and all of those questions you have about your future before you find your husband. Even through dating I was able to figure out the things I would like in my future husband, and even wondered at times if that person was going to be it. Thankfully I had no choice over that matter, but God did.

This is my wonderful husband:

He is goofy just like me and I am so in love with him! God truly knew better than I did what I would need in my future spouse. I love that my husband loves to serve me. Sometimes I take advantage of this, and I know that is wrong, but he truly serves me and takes care of me the way that God asks him too. 

I love that we have entered this incredible journey together. I love my life, even though at times I can't love it in the moment. I wouldn't change anything. God has taught us so much together and if I wasn't married to this man, I wouldn't have learned any of those lessons. Jon has a passion for the ministry and I love that. It is one of those topics that is always talked about in our house. We get excited about the future God has called us too, even though we know it is going to be hard along the way. We are learning how to manage our money better (with the help of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover) and to enjoy our time with each other, even if our date nights consist of the same thing each week, staying home eating dinner and watching a movie.

Jon has blessed me with a new family that lives in FL. That is awesome for a couple reasones, 1) they live in FL... freeish vaca's! 2)His parents are an awesome Godly example and awesome supporters for us, 3)His extended family is a hoot and I love them all!

God has blessed me be on means with this Husband He has provided for me. I am very thankful for the man of God he is and how he grows each day and I can't wait to see how he leads our house once we have kids in the mix. I trust Jon and am at ease to let him lead me where ever God is calling us to go in this adventure. I am proud to call him my husband and my best friend!! 

Snow

So we got like a foot or so of snow... really pretty when it was coming down and the temperature's were decent, but now the time that I hate about winter and snow.... THE FREEZING COLD WEATHER THAT COMES AFTER!!!!!

It is a high of 9 degree's today.... I was freezing all night in my bed... I will take a warm up now and it can all melt away again.

I do like the reminder of God that it gives me though. It reminds me that God is all powerful and can change the weather drastically in an instant. I think it is just another way He is trying to get people to see Him and realize that He is real and that He is out there!

Ok spring, come on in now! :)

Transitions

This past weekend we had the 8:08 Spring Leaders Retreat. It was a blast!! God always refreshes me and shows me so many things on these retreats and I am always sad that it is just an overnighter, but also glad because I am not used to staying up that late any more!

As I was sitting at the retreat, it hit me that this is our last retreat, our last semester with 8:08. It was a sad moment... I almost cried, but had to hold it in because the others would be wondering why I am crying and I didn't want to have to explain! haha. It has entered into the scary time of the internship. The time where we are transitioning out and preparing our selves to go....... well, somewhere. Where ever God is taking us.

God also showed me that I shut down too quickly when I know we are leaving a  place. He showed me that that is wrong, and I feel very motivated to give my best this semester and leave with a bang! I don't want to shut down any more, and I have realized that by doing that it doesn't benefit anyone, not even me. I just feel more depressed. So here is to a new beginning in myself.

Omaha has been a great place to start our our life as a married couple. We have had great friends, great internship opportunity, great jobs, great struggles in all areas, and great memories. I wouldn't want to do it any other way. I am going to miss all of my friends here dearly when we leave to go SOMEWHERE, but I know that God has placed them in my life for this season, and that we will stay in touch, even if that means just through facebook, which I am truly grateful for that technology!

I will admit that this will probably be the weirdest transition, mostly because we knew going into this experience that it would only be for 2 years and then we would be leaving. I also admit that I do get excited to leave, because change can be exciting, but at the same time I am scared out of my mind that God is going to take me somewhere that isn't close to anyone I know (like family) and I am going to be miserable, But I am reminded of a quote from Mother Theresa where she said, "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." That is how I feel sometimes, but I know where ever He calls us to go, I will serve Him.

LEADERS RETREAT!!!

The Leaders Retreat was awesome! Last semester (I learned this at the retreat) a lot of the leaders were not committed whole heartedly. We all admitted that we all failed big time in a lot of different areas of the ministry. We didn't make Thursday night prayers a priority, we weren't intentional about meeting with our small group attendee's one on one, we didn't feel like being very social and stuck to our friend groups. God convicted us all very hard. God also renewed our zeal and our passion for the group. We called each other out and we all committed to give 100%, 100% of the time. This semester is going to be exciting. We all left the retreat excited to see how God is going to move and pumped to lead our small groups. (Last semester I don't really think we were that pumped). 

I am excited to be able to be part of the 8:08 College Community this final semester. I believe God is holding out on giving us an answer as to where we are supposed to go afterwards because He is teaching me to give my all 100% of the time, even when there is an end time. He is teaching me to not shut down early and coast through, and I am excited to take this lesson and apply it as best I can. This semester is going to be a great one! A better-sweet one, but it will be awesome along the way!

Morning Routines

My morning routine is a routine that I have come to really enjoy. I have a job that allows me to sleep past 6am and get up at 7 instead, which always feels way better in the morning, even if you are getting the same amount of sleep either way. After I get up, I usually grab my computer and see what has happened in the book of faces while I was at work and sleeping, and to see if my sisters have posted any new pictures of my boys! (which rarely happens, but I get word updates, so that is nice). I do this for about 15-20 minutes and then I go and make my breakfast, usually waffles because they are quick and I like a hot breakfast, and also because we bought them in bulk and have like hundreds of them! After I eat, I go and wake up my hubby. He isn't a morning person, but I believe we have found a good balance in order for me to do this. I open the door wide and let the light from the living room pour in, I go and turn off the fan and open our dark brown curtain to let more light in (which in the winter isn't a hole lot more) and walk out. This way I don't have to talk to him, he gets to wake up in his own timing, and we have plenty of time for devotions and for me to get ready for work. Once he is up, Jon comes out, gets on some shoes and warm clothes and takes our dog out, comes back in and makes his coffee, maybe has a glass of orange juice, and then we sit down and do our devotions. I love this time!

We started doing devotions in the morning because it is something that I always saw my parents doing together when I was growing up and I told Jon that I wanted to do that too. I wanted to be up in the morning with him and doing devotions and for our future kids to see that God is very important to us and our family, that He is the center of our lives and that we can't start the day off without first coming together with God.

Sadly, that was just a conversation we would have for a while. Then I got a job with the Hankin's and was working 50hrs a week and felt like I never saw him, so I would have him get up really early in the morning with me and do devotions with me just so I could have time with him, not necessarily with God.

Now, though, I am working for a new family, my mornings are more relaxed, I don't always have to wake Jon up and he is just as excited to read the bible and pray together as I am. God has turned this semi selfish act into one that we hate to miss. We are slowly reading every book of the bible, at random, and it has been really cool to see how God changes our perspective of Him along the way.

God, I believe now, has truly become the center of our Marriage. We don't talk and ask and demand in as selfish of ways as we did when we were first married. We more remind each other of what God has taught us, How God would treat each other, and we just love each other better. A healthy, God-centered love, and not a selfish love.

I am very thankful for my morning routine, and missing it this morning with my husband getting home today from the 8:08 preaching retreat. But I will look forward to tomorrow morning when we get to have this time together again!

2011 - HAPPY NEW YEAR

So I realize I haven't actually wrote a legit blog post for quite some time now. Crazy how time gets away from you huh?

Well it is the new year! 2011. It is very exciting and scary to know that God has big plans for Jon and I this year, but yet we have no idea what any of it entails. We now have about 6 months left in our internship and then we are out of here. Where you might ask? Well, we don't really know. We have an option in the works, but we won't really know anything for sure about it until March. It is kind of scary really. I am trying really hard to not let it overwhelm me, the planner, that there is no plan in place. But I will be excited to see where God takes us and what the new adventure entails.

We spent Christmas in Florida with the Randall's and Berg's. It was a blast!! loved the time with the family and kissing miss Gracie's cute little cheeks. It is always hard to leave family, but we both felt ready to head home. It was a wonderful holiday season. Got spoiled by the family with presents and car repairs that we are extremely grateful for. I would have been fine with no gifts. So I am very grateful for that blessing.

As for New Years Eve, well Jon and I are old... we only made it till 10, and then I was ready to go to bed and snuggle into my cozy bed. God has been teaching us a lot about our finances and just being more diligent to stick to a budget and to be smart with our money. So that is our New Year resolution. To continue to honor God through our spending and giving.

Stay tunned to the blog to see updates as to how God continues to work and amaze us and to see Where God calls us to for our next Adventure. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! May you make great memories in 2011 and spend lots of time with those that you love most!